Stream of consciousness – mania

Woman Biting Gray Nails in Her Mouth

 

I’m on a train without rails
It never moves, just switches station

I send memes to friends I no longer talk to and tell them how I’ve always loved them
I laugh hysterically at the kitchen table at 11 PM
I remember the men who tried to touch me shut up you’re disgusting disgusting I’ll eat you don’t touch me claw bash you in my voice becomes theirs shut up shut up shut your fucking mouth and collapse on my bed need sleep the notebook burns against my cheek mass hysteria he says, mass hysteria is when a large group of people are all imagining the same thing it’s like your books Harry Potter isn’t real you know hahahahahaahahaha so have you been talking to God today I ask and on my bed again my skin longs for knuckles no no not really I actually love myself to death I have nothing to give myself but pleasure the sheets the rustle hello do you want to fuck everything is so beautiful desirable I’m coming over and over and it’s not enough and I read my messages and god they hate me this time I’ve really ruined it they’re all angry they want to hurt me now no one cares no one’s thinking of me no one wants so see me happy and where are we going can I step off please no I don’t think this is for me excuse me can I step off can I step can I step can I can I can I can I can I can’t

 

 

 

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11 thoughts on “Stream of consciousness – mania

  1. I amused myself laughing at the line about “I laughed at the kitchen table” bc I wondered whether the speaker was laughing AT the table itself or whether they were sitting in a chair at the table just laughing. HAHAHAH. Anyway. This piece is like the runaway train mentioned at the beginning and that’s a good thing. It was very emotionally moving. The stream of non-stoppedness was cool. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahah, I see now it could be interpreted as both lol. It is one of those stream-of-consciousness pieces that I’ve done no editing on whatsoever. Ugly but real, you know? ❤

      Like

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