Hard Bargain

Don’t believe what they tell you:
poetry is not like a lover’s touch.
it’s murder made legal,
it’s rape for sale,
and I’d rather go unheard
than lower my price.

 

Deicide

Woman Sitting on Ground

Sorry if this has been killed before:
I am still in love
with the person I used to be
she who drew fallen angels
on her sleeve
and looked at people
with her eyes closed
like a god
today I only know
how to see
and everything I write
is an apology to the world
for taking her away
but she likes it here
where she can remind me
of why I’ll never
be silent
again.

 

Loving braille

Woman Wearing Black Long-sleeved Shirt Near Trees

I believe learning to read
was the biggest mistake
of my life.
Now what to do with all this wanting?
I will smile, thread needle lies
intestines sewn shut lips drink
swallow vomit stain the carpet
you thought I was pretty, I told you I’m a monster
half present, half alive,
birthing someone else
and I’ll love you
not as a human but an abyss
swallowing stories
I keep making up
my creations live
they grow. they eat me.
I create them again so they cannot die
they end up living in my place.

 

Birch armed girl

grey scale photo of girl laughing

If suffering is an art
then she is my canvas
wrists dipped in warpaint
I color her survival
she wants to be featureless
so they can’t spot her in the crowd
glued porcelain doll
string of pearls and
a shower of teeth
or a shapeless untouchable
void.

She wields self destruction
like a dagger strapped to her thigh
I’d rather have her raw and pink
I beat her until my skin is so thin
the light shines through
I bless her and keep her until
the waves wash our stripes away.

 

Easy Victim

adult, beautiful, beauty

don’t
for one second think
you
are special. I’ll tell
you only once:
don’t wear red
and don’t hug
his friends are very nice
and
don’t let them know
you like Japanese porn
don’t keep quiet
don’t talk too much
don’t cross your legs
and don’t tell anyone
you’re wearing strings
avoid the laces
and bows
you know what Lolita
really means don’t you?
doesn’t matter if you add
“gothic” first
in time
you’ll learn
that not everyone
is frightened
of a damaged
girl.

Meat bag

Photo of Woman's Face Covered With Plastic

Anonymous said: you must honor other people’s feelings
I remember when my body was full of threads
scared to move lest I ensnared someone else
now my hands are guilt free
when I secure the knot
giving you the greatest gift I can muster:
forgetfulness.